Pictured: My feelings about 2011

Hey it’s February 1, 2012.  I guess I should talk about my favorite and least favorite movies from last year.  I wasn’t exactly putting it off, I just needed to see one last movie or two (A Dangerous Method) before I wrote this up.  So I suppose this is the point where I reflect on 2011.

Well to be frank, 2011 was whatever as fuck.  Now I know I said something to this effect last year, but when comparing the two years, I had nothing to complain about in 2010.  Looking back at that list, there’s several movies that I outright love.  The same cannot be said for this year.  Before writing this or even compiling my lists, I had the opinion that 2011 was fucking terrible and I’d be lucky to make a Top 8.  But when it came time to go through my spreadsheet of movies I watched,  I ended writing down a lot of movies for my Top 10 and not that many for my Bottom 10.  It seemed strange.  So as I tried to get each list to 10 movies, I started to realize a trend.  My Top/Bottom 10′s were filled with movies that range from “really good/bad” to “pretty good/bad.”  Nothing wow-ed me and nothing was outright offensive.  It was a completely middle-of-the-road, whatever year in my mind.  And if there’s one thing that Josh and I agree on, it’s that whatever-ness is far worse than being downright awful.

I was going to do a fancy write-up like I did last year with pictures and one-liners for each movie, but since 2011 was as dour as Kirsten Dunst’s face as pictured above, I present you with plain-ass lists…

Bottom 10
10.  Young Adult
9.  Bellflower
8.  Scream 4
7.  The Future
6.  Super 8
5.  The Conspirator
4.  The Roommate
3.  Sanctum
2.  Red State
1.  Sucker Punch

Top 10
10.  Rubber
9.  Our Idiot Brother
8.  50/50
7.  I Saw the Devil
6.  Terri
5.  Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
4.  Rise of the Planet of the Apes
3.  Shame
2.  The Skin I Live In
1.  Drive

Movies I Didn’t Get to See Yet: Win Win, Sleeping Beauty

So that about does it for 2011.  I’m glad it’s over because 2012 is looking like it’s going to be pretty incredible (knock on wood).

A successful movie, if nothing else, is greater than the sum of its parts. It stops being a few terrific performances, a good script and cool direction, and becomes a big, cohesive, singular entity. However, even though a movie isn’t perfect, or really doesn’t come together in the end, that doesn’t mean it can’t have some really fantastic moments. And while 2011 may not have been a great year for movies as a whole, there were definitely some pretty great moments.

Now, these might not be the best films I saw this year, but when I thought back on everything I saw at the movies, the things that made me laugh the hardest and think, “I liked that. That was good,” these are the first things that popped into my head.

So, here are my ten favorite movie moments of 2011.

#10. Bad Teacher – No Map

Look, Bad Teacher isn’t a great movie. But, if nothing else, it’s got some really funny performances, especially that of Jason Segal as the inhumanly sarcastic gym teacher who barely tries to win the heart of Cameron Diaz’s titular character. Nearly every line his character has is so simply written, but it’s his delivery that makes everything he says gold. His greatness is especially apparent when responding to the newly minted, “too-cute” couple of Justin Timberlake and Lucy Punch, fawning over each other while recollecting the events of their weekend, making his performance one of my favorite of the year.

#9. Insidious – Holy Shit, It’s Darth Maul!

There’s nothing that incredible about Insidious, a horror movie that’s basically about a haunted kid. You know, like a haunted house, with ghosts and stuff, but inside a kid instead of a house. But even though it wasn’t mind-blowing, genre-bending material, it’s still a pretty awesome horror movie with a ridiculous amount of surprises and scares. It’s this exceptional ability to surprise its audience, combined with a pretty mellow first half-hour, that made the first appearance of Insidious’ main villain all the more startling and shit-inducing, making it stand out as one of the movie’s better moments, and making Insidious one of the better horror movies of the year.

8. The Help – The Moment I Realized It Was About Shit

When posters and trailers started appearing for The Help, most people just assumed they knew exactly who the movie was made for: women, and more specifically, moms. However, somehow everyone outside of this demographic accidently found themselves walking into the wrong theater, and ended up loving The Help, including even the most jaded, male moviegoer like myself (although, my 82 year old grandmother turned it off after 45 minutes, so…there’s that). Now, it wasn’t the powerful story of civil rights and the struggle for human equality that broke down my impenetrable wall of cynicism, it was the fact that The Help, first and foremost, is about going to the bathroom, and, more specifically, going number two. And it’s a critical and commercial success that’s a shoe-in for several catagories this awards season. And it’s about shit. That’s cool.

#7. Paranormal Activity 3 – The Oscillating Camera

The found footage format has hit some kind of a boom in the last few years after taking a well-deserved break after the one-of-a-kind success of The Blair Witch Project. However, over the last three years now, the Paranormal Activity franchise has never failed to show up in theaters with a slightly altered version of the last movie, which always manages to feel brand new while also providing the series’ signature sense of dread, which is stretched out to almost unbearable lengths in almost every scene. However, with the first two installments doing all they could with static security cameras, the directors of Paranormal Activity 3 came up with the brilliant idea of having their protagonist attach his camera to an oscillating fan, so the audience can see what’s going in two rooms, but only if the timing is right. Not only does this provide a welcome change to the format of the movie, but ups the ante as far as tension is concerned, letting us know where and when the scares are going to happen, but never letting us know what until it’s too late.

#6. Crazy, Stupid Love – “I Think It Stands For Asshole”

Aside from it falling into some pretty cringe-worthy romantic comedy clichés in the lat act, the rest of Crazy, Stupid Love was one of the bigger surprises of the year, putting together an incredible cast with a clever script, and turning out a movie that pretty much anyone can enjoy. Of all the fun characters and plot twists, however, one of the best scenes comes from lovelorn pre-teen Robbie, who gives a pretty spot-on literary analysis of “The Scarlet Letter” after being spurned by his love interest, the baby sitter.

#5. Kung Fu Panda 2 – The True Nature of Po

No one was more surprised that I after witnessing Kung Fu Panda, a Dreamworks animated movie that contained none of the dated pop culture references or characters singing along to pop-songs that the studio is infamous for stuffing their movies full of. And count me just as surprised when they matched the quality of the first movie with this year’s Kung Fu Panda 2, continuing with the story of the Furious Five, and delving deeper into the mythology of Po, the titular kung-fu master of the series. As he begins to regain memories of his real parents, Po discovers that it doesn’t matter where he comes from that makes him who he is, but what’s inside that counts. Sure, it’s a pretty old lesson to learn, but there’s something in the way the filmmakers present it that can make any fan of the franchise well up.

#4. War Horse – The Wire Cutter Truce

Steven Spielberg’s War Horse is a very impressive movie, if for no other reason than its sprawling scope that follows one boy’s journey to find his horse as World War I rages on all across Europe. However, there come several moments during the movie where someone is crying or vowing to give their lives for this animal, and you can’t help but say to yourself, “Come on! It’s just a fucking horse!” Surprisingly, when one such moment comes at around the three-quarters mark of the movie, which finds a British and German soldier rising from their barracks to help said horse escape from a tangled mess of barbed wire in the middle of no man’s land, instead of coming off as saccharine or stupid, it feels like one of the most sincere moments of the film. Reminiscent of the true story of the Christmas Truce of 1914, seeing the two seemingly different soldiers working together and exchanging pleasantries, knowing that they will soon be trying to kill each other when the morning comes, says more about the human condition than the rest of War Horse manages to do with in the other 135 minutes of its run time.

#3. Rubber – The Opening Scene

So, you hear about a movie called Rubber. It’s apparently about a sentient tire with telekinetic abilities that goes on a murderous rampage throughout the American west. Of course, as with all movies, one must have expectations when preparing to see a movie such as this, and the filmmakers of Rubber knew this. So instead of simply giving the people what they want, they surround their knowingly ridiculous concept with a direct commentary on the events of the movie, and shed some light on their intentions with a bizarre and clever opening that will catch anyone with no prior knowledge of the movie off guard in the best way possible.

#2. Shame – “Touch Head”

For a movie about a sex addict’s life spiraling out of control, it’s funny to see a scene that is so funny, realistic and sweet thrown right in the middle of it. The fact that Michael Fassbender’s Brandon seems to honestly like Maryanne so much that he can’t even allow himself to kiss her, knowing that it would ruin the otherwise innocent evening, not only adds another side to a character that, up to this point in the movie, we’ve mainly seen moving between fits of anger and sex, but also makes us almost root for him to finally find a girl that can maybe help change his ways.

#1. Thor – “Another!”

I thought Thor was awesome, and, in a year full of superhero epics, the best of the bunch. I won’t get into why that’s how I feel here, but I will say that this clip, in which Chris Hemsworth’s Asgardian prince has a meal with his discoverers after crashing to Earth, is a prime example of what makes Thor work so well. Since there’s no point in ruining a joke by explaining it, I’ll simply say that having gone into Thor with no expectations, it was its sense of humor and the honest portrayals of its characters, especially its hilariously entitled titular character, that made it stand out from the pack, and made this my favorite movie moment of the year.

Isn’t it ironic?

I’ll tell you what’s REALLY ironic!!!  In 1964, two great films , by two great filmmakers, with similar subject matter, were released only 2 weeks apart! THAT is ironic!
The subject matter?…Global thermo-nuclear war and the subsequent total annihilation of the entire human species. The filmmakers?…Sidney Lumet, may he RIP,  and Stanley Kubrick, may he rest with Sidney.  The films?…Kubrick’s DR. STRANGELOVE and Lumet’s FAIL SAFE.

It is crazy to me that these oh-so-similar stories could be told in such oh-so-different styles. It’s double crazy that they are each based on separate source material and still so similar. And triple crazy that despite the then sixty-or-so years of film history, these two, similar stories, were released in theatres within 14 days of each other.

FAIL SAFE  roolz.
In Lumet’s version of this parable, every character is quite serious and the tension is pulled as tight as a prostitutes leggings. Sidney does, as always, an incredible job of getting frighteningly realistic emotions from his actors. Closeups and dolly-ins dominate the screen. FAIL SAFE is about four different groups of people from four different time zones in the U.S that are forced together by the threat of a nuclear attack on the United States by Russian forces. Shit happens I NEVER saw coming. That’s all I have to say. It was awesome. Props to Sidney for using disturbingly loud electronic feedback as a central audio  motif. Bangin.

DR. STRANGELOVE: OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB roolz.
Same kinda deal except not. Again, the story is similar, but much more satirically addressed. Stanley tries to point out how ridiculous the idea of destroying everything ever is by making clowns of everyone. If anything, I think DSOHILTSWALTB drives home a stronger message only because of its very effective use of humor. It stresses the ridiculousness and utter insanity of the situation and pounds into your head that this cannot be right, this could NEVER happen; whereas FAILSAFE’s realism makes it seem all too realistic and, by some means, inevitable and unavoidable.

IN CONCLUSION:
They are both amazing. I’ll need to watch FAIL SAFE at least once more time before I make a final decision, but at this point, after just having seen FAIL SAFE, I think I still may like DR. STRANGELOVE more. We’ll see.

SEE THESE MOVIES IF YOU LIKE THE THREAT OF WAR, INCREDIBLE ACTING AND BLACK AND WHITE FILMS DIRECTED BY GENIUSES.

EYE<3EWE ,
Joshy

Super Nintendo Sega Genesis. Super Nintendo Sega Genesis. 6 mutha fuckin goddamn bitz. 16 mutha fuckin goddamn bitz.
When I was a kid I used to play Sega. Now I play a Sega emulator. My bit rate’s still 16 mutha fucka. Since I was a pre teen mutha fucka.

Weren’t the 90s great? Everyone wore big shirts, bright neon colors, and crazy hats like Blossom! Besides the crazy awesome clothes, there also were some crazy awesome movies. Over the next week, I’m going to countdown my top 10 movies for each year of the 90′s starting with 1999 in no particular order.

A Room For Romeo Brass

What’s that? What do you mean you’ve never heard of this 1999 British independent movie? Where have you been, in America? I’m not at all surprised no one has ever heard of this movie. I caught it on TV randomly in 2000 when I first started high school. This movie is about 2 tweleve year olds going through shit and, at the time, I was going through shit. It was nice to see other kids going through shit also. But I don’t just like this movie because it struck a cord when I was young, it’s actually a good movie.

American Beauty

American Beauty is an amazing movie. I think many people can agree with that. Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham is awesome and we’ve all wanted to be him at least once in our life (Spacey not Lester). This movie is really dark but, oddly enough, has lots of heart. If you’ve never seen this movie then…you may as well move to Russia.

Being John Malkovich

Many people I’ve encountered over the years don’t like this movie. Well eff them! This movie is amazing. I mostly love this movie for its writing by Charlie Kaufman. Kaufaman is sad, depressed, a lunatic and a genius and I love him! These facts are evident in the introduction he wrote for the Being John Malkovich shooting script that was published. Of course Spike Jones’ direction is great but he had some crazy competition that year for the Oscar.

But I’m a Cheerleader

But I’m a Cheerleader isn’t really that good movie but as far as gay movies go, it’s pretty good. Read a full review.

Fight Club

Let me be “that guy” for a minute. I loved Fight Club before it became cool to like it. I’ve been a fan of ol’ Chucky P for a quiet a while. This movie has so many things I absolutely love: Chuck Palahniuk’s great story, David Fincher’s amazing direction, Edward Norton’s acting and everything else!!

Girl, Interrupted

This is another movie based on a book that I love. It follows Susanna Kaysen‘s original memoirs very closely and does a good job at bringing all of the people she encountered to life. And Angelina Jolie. Anige definitely deserved her Oscar. I’d even go as far as to say Britney Murphy should have at least gotten a nomination. But the 2000 Oscars were pretty dang good and the competition was tight. This movie made me fall in love with Winona Ryder and Stay Cool made me quickly fall out of love.

Magnolia

It’s Magnolia. If you don’t like it, you’re a commie bastard! Magnolia is probably my favorite movie of the 90s.

Man on the Moon

I’d always put off watching this movie for many many years because I was afraid it was going to suck and my love for Jim Carrey would be tarnished to say thew least. But the complete opposite actually happened. Man on the Moon became my second favorite Jim Carrey movie.  Normally I would say that good acting doesn’t make a movie good but in this case, it does. Carrey is so eerily convincing and amazing at playing Andy Kaufman. Had anyone else been cast in that role, this movie would be crap.

The Matrix

Ignore its 2 sequels and you will see that The Matrix is an amazing movie. What made me latch onto this movie in the first place is the philosophy behind The Matrix. At one point in my life, I owned all the movies, documentaries, sub-movies, video games and major books about The Matrix. I know far more about the world inside and outside of the matrix then any human being should know. On top of the philosophy behind it was a great action movie. The Wachowski brothers…err..siblings brought bullet time into mainstream giving their movies their place in history.

Mystery Men

Now I realize that many people may think this movie is crap and serves best as a guilty pleasure but those people are just flat out wrong. This superhero vigilante movie is awesome and will forever remain a staple of my childhood.

I hate all of you idiots. Stop choking me with your desperate pleas. Who cares what my Top Ten are? I am last again. What else is new? But the good thing is that not only am I able to make judgments about the best and worst films of 2010, but I can also criticize my friends. Kyle is too cynical, jat59072 is too enthusiastic, Josh likes guilty pleasures more than real movies, and Dancy only likes movies that nobody else on Earth has seen as long as they are vibrant and involve dreams. I’m just kidding. They are all great! Although, I do have to disagree with Kyle’s overall assessment of 2010 as a “blah” year of film. As a matter of fact, by my judgment 2010 may be one of the best cinematic years of all time. My top two may even be examples of some of the best film making the 21st century has had to offer thus far.

But of course, there were some stinkers.

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2010

10. The Book of Eli

Okay, some of the action scenes were tolerable, but this movie is really not very good. I like Denzel, but the lame concept leads up to one of the lamest twist endings ever portrayed.

9. The Crazies

I don’t even know what to say about this piece of cinema. I just hope it finally brings an end to this zombie trend. Fuck zombies.

8. The Runaways

Some stories don’t need to be told. Like boring biopics about a 70′s all-girl rock ‘n roll band that never became famous in the only country that matters: America. Kristen Stewart plays Joan Jett. More like Bone Bett.

7. The Last Airbender

M. Night has now proven himself to be a hack. He started off so strong and promising, but he can’t seem to make a good movie. I know nothing of the animated series so I have no bias. But it seems like they packed 10 pounds of poop into a five pound poop bag. And then wrapped the bag in duct tape made out of bad special effects.

6. The Experiment

A good concept poorly executed. Someone had a good idea for a movie but didn’t know how to write a script. I sympathize.

5. The Last Song

Hannah Montana is over. Now Miley Cyrus is stuck with the task of transferring her tween appeal into adulthood. If The Last Song is any sign of her future, poor Miley will fade into the sunset. Props to Nicholas Sparks for writing the same ending in every book and still making the girls cry.

4. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

These are not good movies. Obnoxious emo girl trying to decide if she wants to bang the dead guy or the dog. How romantic. After three movies, I still see no connection between the characters.

3. Babies

The trailer made it seem like a documentary about how babies develop in different areas of the world. The trailer was accurate. However, a lack of narration or organization gives this movie no focus. Just music playing over ethnic babies.

2. Dear John

Channing Tatum is the least convincing actor I have ever seen. Amanda Seyfried should not be a famous person. Dear John is the worst Nicholas Sparks adaptation.

1. My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done

Directed by Werner Herzog. Produced by David Lynch. Overly artistic presentation of an uninteresting murder. I am really starting to think that Michael Shannon is not as good as advertised.

Well that is my bottom ten of the year. They are different than those of my peers. But that is because they don’t know what they’re doing.

As I stated in my long introduction, 2010 was one of my favorite movie years. It was so good in fact that my decision for a top ten was more difficult than ever. Sadly movies such as The A-Team, The Town, and Tangled were left just shy of my finalized selections. But if they didn’t make it, what did?

Finally, for all of the haters and complainers:

Top Ten Best Movies of 2010

10. Black Swan

Easily my most reflected upon movie of the year. I couldn’t decide if I even liked it. Eventually I came to the realization that this is the type of movie I very much enjoy. It is actually masterfully filmed and basically a technical and artistic masterpiece. I am growing to very much respect Darren Aronofsky.

9. Blue Valentine

Already reviewed it: Blue Valentine. That was easy.

8. Easy A

One of the big surprises of the year. What appears to be a silly teen comedy is actually the funniest movie of the year. Laugh out loud when you are alone moments.

7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

This movie has been debated amongst fans and critics, even on our own humble web site. But frankly, I am on the side that thinks highly of Dragon Tattoo. It is a very solid, unique, and modern take on classic mysteries. I have not yet seen the sequels.

6. Buried

Reviewed: Buried

5. Toy Story 3

Of course I give into the hype. I was a childhood lover of Toy Story. And although I feel this movie doesn’t touch the original, it far surpasses the mediocre Toy Story 2. An excellent cap to the tale of the toys. My only qualm is a lack of Buzz story.

4. The Fighter

I wish I didn’t have to give in to my own stereotype and put a boxing movie on this list, but The Fighter is a very new take on an old underdog story. By far the best acting ensemble of the year, as well as the single best solo performance of 2010 from Christian Bale. What don’t you f***ing understand?

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

I am as surprised as you are that I like Harry Potter. This is so far the best of the movies, and the only one you will ever see on a top ten list made by me. I read the books, and I am stoked to see how they finish this one in Movieland.

2. The Social Network

There is basically nothing wrong with this movie. From the script to the direction to the acting, this is one of the most flawless and intriguing movies I have seen this millennium. Plus the DVD is pretty awesome. I am saddened that a movie of this caliber is stuck at number two on my list.

1. Inception

I could not deny Inception the top spot as I have never felt about a movie before the way I had after seeing it. It is my belief that Christopher Nolan is the best film maker working today and in 50 years people will be discussing him and their disappointment that he never won an Academy Award. I think that Inception is a rare cinematic game changer and has set the bar of possibility to a whole new level. Read my full review here:  Inception.

There, it’s posted. Now shut up.

Here it is folks.  The moment you’ve all been waiting for.  It’s only about a month late (or 200 yrs in internet time), but I’ve finally finished my Top 10 of 2010.  And overall, I’d have to say that it was an exceptionally weak year for movies.  Invariably when someone says this, some other moron (jat59072 in this case) will say “nah uh, there were like so many great movies I could’ve made a top 25.”  Yeah well this is my opinion, dawg.  And as far as I’m concerned, this year was mediocre at best.  Sure there were a couple greats and I like every movie on my Top 10, but a handful of great movies and a couple very good ones doesn’t exactly tip the scales of “holy shit this year ruled-ness.”  I mean c’mon.  The King’s Speech? Give me a break.  But anyway.  Without further adieu…

10. Cemetery Junction

This was the most difficult slot on my entire list.  I fooled around with a bunch of different movies and none of them seemed to click for me.  And then I remembered Cemetery Junction.  I’m a sucker for coming of age movies and this very standard affair was nothing short of awesome.

9.  Winter’s Bone

What up Ozarks?  Represent.  John Hawkes and Jennifer Lawrence turn in excellent performances in this hillbilly Illuminati mafia gangster opus.

8.  Mother

Beautifully photographed and directed.  This mystery crime drama has just the right amount of twist.

7.  The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The best of the trilogy.  This one’s got it all.

6.  The Last Exorcism

Contrary to popular belief, the ending rocks the party.  As does the rest of the movie.

5.  Exit Through the Gift Shop

As hilarious as it is interesting.  Long live Mr. Brainwash.

4.  Dogtooth

Lying to kids has never been so fun. Or violent.  Or awesome.

3.  Toy Story 3

Growing up is for jerks.  That’s why Pixar makes you cry.  For being a jerk.

2.  Inception

The only movie about dreams that’s worth seeing.

1.  The Social Network

Every single thing about this movie is an impenetrable amalgamation of goodness.  From words to pictures to characters to music to actors to everything.  Or in short:  “Let the hacking begin.”

What movies NOT from 2010 did I see in 2010 for the first time that were completely not good at all?  Here’s what 10…

10. Unbreakable (2000)

Holy crap do I hate the direction in this movie.  Thankfully M. Night wised up and made The Happening.

9. Zandalee (1991)

Nic Cage couldn’t even save this one.  While he does slather himself with black paint while screaming “FUCK IT!” for a couple seconds, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a stupid sex triangle movie.  Not to mention Judge Reinold is naked a lot in it.  With a mustache and weird creole accent.

8. Permanent Vacation (1980)

Jim Jarmusch can get a little arty here and there.  It’s no wonder his fresh-out-of-film-school effort hits that arty note right on the head.  What’s film school for, anyway?

7. Ken Park (2002)

A bunch of stupid kids having stupid sex with a bunch of stupid other idiots is stupid.  It also looks awful.

6.  Romper Stomper (1992)

Insufferable Aussie exploitation movie about a bunch of Nazi dudes.  Russell Crowe is Robin Hood though, so don’t even worry about it dude.

5.  Blow-Up (1966)

Blow Out is so much better.  Sorry Italians, but this was tolerable for about 39 seconds.  And that’s rounding up.

4.  Battlefield Earth (2000)

Do you WANT lunch?

3.  Dune (1984)

Voice over is the mind killer.

2.  Frogs (1972)

Nothing happens.  Literally.

1.  Elephant (2003)

To borrow a quote from my dear friend, jat59072:  “The stupidest piece of crap I have ever.”

Whew. It feels like two months since I’ve posted on this web site. If you, the reader, were given a screen name and password and had access to all of the behind-the-scenes features of ThatWasJunk, you would see that I have a few unfinished drafts of things I would like to post. So fear not, mustard-heads. I will be providing valuable content once again to you in the near future.

But who cares about that? You are reading this post now, and you want to know what the best and worst movies that I saw for the first time in 2010 are. I think we should build it up. Don’t scroll and cheat. That’s cheating.

Top 10 Worst Movies I Watched in 2010 that I Hadn’t Seen Before 2010

10. American Cowslip (2009)

Kyle and I watched this film on Dancy’s recommendation. I recall at the 17 minute mark looking over at Kyle. The expression on his face told me that he wanted to turn this shit off. The remaining hour and a half was a test of wills to see who would get up from the couch and end the misery. Neither of us did, leading to Joe Pesci becoming a vampire.

9. The House of the Devil (2009)

We all gathered together to watch this gem at Kyle’s mini-marathon in December. Starts off boring, continues to be boring, a cool thing happens for a second. End.

8. Tromeo and Juliet (1996)

I understand and appreciate what Troma tries to do. But they aren’t funny. Throwing up and pooping and gross make-up are only funny when used properly. Being “extreme” alone doesn’t make something worth laughing at.

7. Jack Frost (1996)

An attempt at horror- comedy that does not work for comedy connoisseurs. Neither horrifying or funny. Double miss.

6. Skyscraper (1993)

It has been so long since I watched this that I don’t remember specifically why I don’t like it. It’s an Anna Nicole Smith action movie. Actually, it’s mostly soft-core porn. And I’m hardcore.

5. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1958)

I know adding this movie to a list of worsts is cliche, but I didn’t realize how  bad it was until I saw it for the first time this year. In order to stay true to my list, I have to include this movie… one of the most poorly made flicks of all time.

4. Women in Cages (1971)

Robert Rodriguez used the trailer for this old exploitation movie in Planet Terror. So I watched it. Never take recommendations from faux- grindhouse movies. Lesson learned.

3. Glen or Glenda (1953)

Congratulations Ed Wood. You made my list twice. As poorly made as Plan 9 from Outer Space is, at least it has a somewhat discernible structure and plot. This movie is a half-documentary with Bela Lugosi speaking horror- gibberish every so often. No sense is to be found.

2.   Frogs (1972)

A horror movie with evil frogs and other reptiles starring a young Sam Elliot! Hell yes! Hell no. The limited deaths in this feature film are unexplained because the geniuses who invented this idea couldn’t figure out a way to make frogs kill people. Most boring.

1. Battlefield Earth (2000)

This movie can’t possibly be as bad as people say it is. Yes it can. From what I understand, this film had a script full of potential. That is until Johnny T. stepped in and loaded it with Scientology in tribute to his boy L. Ron (who was rolling over in his space ship at the creation of this cinematic travesty). I can’t believe they wasted film on this.

Oh wow, what a great bottom ten. You sure watched a lot of movies this year, Dave. Sorry you had to sit through ten horrible dung beetles like that.

That’s okay, self. I was also privileged to view many films for the first time that I enjoyed very much.

What are they??!!

Top 10 Best Movies I Watched in 2010 that I Hadn’t Seen Before 2010

10. Runaway Jury (2003)

An exciting and fun courtroom thriller with two of history’s best actors going head-to-head. Pleasantly surprised by the story and direction of this movie.

9. A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Kevin Kline is an extremely forgettable actor to me. However, after seeing this movie I will forever remember him as one of my favorite movie characters. A Fish Called Wanda is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen all year.

8. You Can’t Take It With You (1938)

The thing that surprised me most about this movie was not how much it made me laugh, but the subject matter. For a movie made in 1938 to criticize Capitalism and promote free- thinking and functioning outside of the system seemed very controversial to me. The movie is feel-good and funny, but it sends an interesting message as well.

7. It’s Not Me, I Swear! (2009)

For those of you who don’t know, this is a French-Canadian movie that came out in 2009. I was the last of the Junkers to see it, and like them, I fell in love with it. The story is of a young boy with a wild imagination who repeatedly attempts to kill himself. Funny and sad melded together.

6. Mary and Max (2009)

Let’s not beat our reviews to death. Josh and Kyle each reviewed this already: Josh’s Review Kyle’s Review

5. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967)

This is just a showcase of acting wrapped around a taboo subject. I was completely in awe watching Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, and Sidney Poitier interact with each other, presenting talent unparalleled in 1968. In my opinion, the only other movies that contain such intense performances from a group of renowned actors are Doubt and Glengarry Glen Ross.

4. Everybody’s Fine (2009)

This was a hugely mis-marketed and underrated film from 2009. It was presented as a silly Christmas movie, when in fact it has almost nothing to do with Christmas. Robert DeNiro was superb as an elderly widower in search of reconnection with his children. The story is very real and contains a lot of sadness. I recommend it.

3. The Lives of Others (2006)

The best way to describe this movie is a cold drama with a heart and conscience. That makes no sense. It’s also entirely in German. And directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. I like that name.

2. The Contender (2000)

Kick-ass political drama. Amazing acting performances by Joan Allen, Jeff Bridges, and the forever unjustly unrecognized Gary Oldman. The story is interesting and never falls into the typical boring political movie bullshit. I bought it used on Amazon if you want to borrow it.

1. The Apartment (1960)

The best thing that happened to me, as far as movies are concerned, in 2010 was my discovery of writer- director Billy Wilder. I had the privilege of watching many of his movies throughout 2010, and he has become one of my favorite directors. I rented The Apartment on NetFlix and popped it in at three AM, figuring to watch some of it before I fell asleep. Soon, five o’clock rolled around, and I was laying with my head in my hand waiting to see how the movie ended. Even when I first viewed it in March, there was no doubt that this was going to make my end of the year list. And I am completely satisfied with it’s position at number one.

Wow!

Made Me Sick (WORST OF) 2010
#10. THE WOLFMAN
#9. LET ME IN
#8. EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES
#7. EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES
#6. LIFE DURING WARTIME
#5. HEREAFTER
#4. EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES
#3. EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES
#2. EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES
#1. TETRO

Saw In 2010 (But Came From Another Year) That I Hated
(no particular order)
the thirst
all the kings men
interview with the vampire
slipstream
henry fool
one crazy summer
#1. TETRO

Saw In 2010 (But Came From Another Year) That I Loved
#12. Lair Of The White Worm
#11. A SImple Plan 
#10. The Chocolate War
#9. Basic Instinct
#8. The Mist
#7. In The Loop 
#6. The Invention of Lying 
#5. Citizen Kane
#4. Management
#3. The White Ribbon
#2. The Contender
#1. Ex Drummer

JOSH’s FAVE 10 OF 2010…
#10. COP OUT
 #9. THE LAST AIRBENDER
#8. THE LAST EXORCISM
#7. SPLICE
#6. NEIL YOUNG TRUNK SHOW
#5. PIRANHA 3D
#4. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1
#3. INCEPTION
#2. TOY STORY 3
#1. THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Here’s thing – I love all of the movies in my top ten of the year. Love them to death. But I also have a tendency to change my mind constantly. 2 Months ago I easily would’ve said INCEPTION was my favorite, but like I said…ANYWAY, the reason my top 3 are as they are is very simple – right now in my life I enjoy films that make me feel something. TOY STORY 3 and THE SOCIAL NETWORK make me feel something very clearly. INCEPTION is the coldest of films. I feel nothing from it. That being said, I think INCEPTION is the best movie of the year. Just not my favorite of right now.

Confused?  Okay.  2010 has come and passed and the year-end lists have begun.  But they’re all about 2010 movies.  And that’s boring.  The majority of the movies I watched last year weren’t from 2010.  So it only seems right to recognize some of my favorite movies that are not from 2010, but I saw for the first time last year.  Now out of all the end-of-the-year lists I’ve made, this one was easily the most difficult to whittle down to 10.  I honestly could’ve made about a Top 20 or 25 and it’d be filled with movies I absolutely loved.  But alas.  You’re only allowed to pick 10 movies to recognize.  Otherwise the devil repossesses your website.  And since our loyal readers would likely die without the daily nourishment of TWJ, I present to you, my Top 10 (non-2010) movies that I hadn’t seen before!

10. The Elephant Man (1980)

Oh David Lynch.  You made a movie that downright rules.

9. The Mist (2007)

People suck.  Monster’s eat them.  The end is incredible.  Make money money.

8.  Metropolis (1927)

One of the most impressive spectacles in movie history.  This one straight-up floored me.

7.  Alien (1979)

Finally got around to watching the quad-rilogy and this one rocks the party.  Aliens can take a hike if you ask me, buddy.

6.  National Treasure (2004)

Wait, seriously?  Yes seriously.  It’s the Indiana Jones of the new generation.  Think that’s blasphemy?  Well,  I got two words for you…

5.  The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

You are so beautiful, to me.  You are so beautiful, can’t you see?

4.  Lolita (1962)

I finally got to see every Kubrick movie this year and it was hard to only put one on this list.  Lolita is money in the bank.

3.  Buffalo ’66 (1998)

Most expert use of Heart of the Sunrise that could possibly be imagined.  It’s like a Christ Air over the Pagoda Gap in Tony Hawk.  9 billion points.

2.  The Conversation (1974)

Francis Ford Coppola can time travel.  In 1974, he worm-holed to 1980 and 1992 and combined two of my favorite movies ever.  The Shining and Sneakers.  Thank you, FFC.

1.  Ex Drummer (2007)

A combination of everything excellent that can ever happen in a movie.  In short, deep fish got thirsty.